Lesson 3: What Really Matters

It’s no secret that losing someone close to you will make you reexamine what really matters in life.  When you were killed, I was at camp. I had stayed up late working on videos for my internship, and I was stressed. I was constantly worrying about whether I was going to get all of my work done in time, whether I was doing a good job balancing my other duties… everything you always told me not to stress about.

I couldn’t fall asleep that night. At 12:30am, my directors came into the room and told me that I needed to come with her. One short phone call with my mom later, I was making plans to come home. And suddenly, everything I was stressing about didn’t matter.

What mattered was being with my family. The family I was still blessed to have. Comforting them. Letting them comfort me. And that was the first lesson from you – refocus. What matters? Some project that I won’t even remember a year from now, or being close to family? Stressing about the next step in my career, or remembering that as long as I work hard and leave it in God’s hands I’ll be okay?

That’s why I moved home. As a soon-to-be-graduate of the University of North Texas, I had been focusing all my energy on making the PERFECT next career move. Where to go for my internship. Where to move after that. But your passing reminded me that I won’t always have the people I care about. I have to spend time with them while I can.

“Two are better than one… for if they fall, one will lift up the other.”

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

And now that I’ve been given the opportunity to focus on what REALLY matters, I can’t pass that up.

Love, Bubba

Lesson 2: Soulmates Are Real

            Alright, alright. Once again, you were right. I’m sure you’re laughing at me admitting this right now – but turns out, soulmates are real. Go figure.

            I haven’t exactly been a romantic for a while now. Sappy PDA couples annoy me. I can’t watch a romantic comedy without pretending to throw up in my popcorn. And songs about love usually make me sing like a deaf cat just to annoy the love-struck friends that happen to be listening with me. I am not shy to tell guys that try to date me that I won’t be the girl to fall in love with them, or flat out that I’m not interested. I’m the girl that says that true love isn’t real. Or, I was.

            When you died, I started thinking. A lot. Even more than usual. And I realized something really important – you and Mom were soulmates. Real life soulmates. You may not have been together for 50 years. You didn’t meet in kindergarten and spend every day by each others sides since then. But you met in difficult circumstances, stayed together through them, and came out the other side just as in love as you were day 1.

            Y’all weren’t perfect. No couple is. But through everything, I never heard you say that you were getting a divorce. You never stormed out of the house mad. And you always said I love you. You treated Mom like the queen she is – and that’s true love.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

            So now, I believe again. One day, I’ll marry my soulmate. And I truly hope I’ll be able to say that we have a love like y’all did. Because I know you wouldn’t let me settle for any less.

Love, Bubba

Lesson 1: Mom is a Superhero

           
Well Trav, I guess you were right. I know we’ve always given Mom a hard time – from knocking on the door incessantly while she’s in the bathroom while yelling her name like in Big Bang Theory, to locking the door before she can get in the car and/or driving off while she’s still trying to get in, teasing Mom is our specialty. But one thing you always reminded me that I’ve taken for granted is that Mom is the strongest person we know.

            No other person in my life has been through as much as she has and still come out the other side not only a stronger woman, but a stronger Christian. Mom is a constant beam of light in my darkest days, and I know she was that for you too. She has always been our biggest fan, and I know she always will be.

“My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word.”

–Isaiah 40:29

            She is hurting so badly from losing you. She’s not afraid to show it or say it, and she admits that this is the hardest thing she’s ever gone through. But she has shown Mo and me now more than ever that she is strong enough to make it, and that she’s the best role model we could ever ask for.

            You were a smart man for marrying her. And I’m glad you did.

            Happy birthday Mom!

            Love, Bubba

Learning To Live

On July 22nd, my life and the life of my family changed forever. My Big Dude, Travis, and my uncle, Seth, were killed in a head on collision. My path before the accident was crooked and I wasn't sure where it was going. I still don't know where it's going, but now I know that an angel guides me.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. - Proverbs 3:5-6

I may not understand God's plan or His timing, but I know that He and Travis are using these daily challenges to teach me how to be a better person. Every week I'll share a lesson learned in the form of a letter to Travis. Sometimes they'll be funny, sometimes thoughtful, sometimes sad - but I promise they'll always be honest. And they'll always end signed the only appropriate way...

Love, Bubba