Lesson 16: Let Your Walls Down

           

Big Dude, we had many conversations about my inability to trust. You tried to convince me that people weren’t all bad, and I wasn’t exactly the biggest believer. I was always too afraid of getting hurt again. Still, you told me that when I finally trusted someone enough to let my walls down, it would pay off.

“Let your faith be bigger than your fear.”

            You were the kind of stepdad a daughter could trust. I could talk to you about what was going on, but you never expected me to. You were faithful to mom, because there was never a reason for you to want to stray. You showed me that I can trust people.

            I still have issues with trust. I still don’t trust people. But I know that one day, I’ll be able to. Because you provided the example that it’s possible.

Love, Bubba

Lesson 15: Give

       Big Dude, you were a jolly person. It was safe to say that you were a happy man. You were almost always in a good mood, laughing and cracking jokes. You were a Buddy the Elf at Christmas. You loved seeing people light up opening the gifts you got them, and you loved watching them encounter your elaborate Christmas pranks even more. You were a Christmas person.
       I, on the other hand, am more of a Grinch. I change the radio station when Christmas music comes on, or avoid the radio altogether. I don't decorate the house. I don't count down the days to Christmas. But I LOVE giving gifts. Nothing makes me happier than picking out the PERFECT present for someone I care about and them loving it. I love making the people I love happy.
       My problem with the holiday is this - we've forgotten what it's truly about. God gave His only son to us on Christmas Day, and that's the biggest gift of all. He gave someone so precious to us, because He loves us. Instead of focusing on what's on our wishlist and what Santa might bring, we should remember this - the point is to GIVE, and the point of giving each other gifts is to remind those we love how much they mean to us.

"Every good and perfect gift comes from above."

James 1:17

       I never for a moment doubted how much you loved me, and I know I'm not alone. You gave so much of yourself to your family and friends, not just gifts, but your love. I hope that this Christmas I can do the same, and maybe pull a Travis-grade prank somewhere along the way.
       Love, Bubba

Lesson 14: You Should Be Here

On Saturday I graduated from UNT. Everyone was there to celebrate my biggest accomplishment yet. But you weren’t.

            It was a bittersweet moment. I knew that you were watching from heaven, beaming with pride, but that’s not how I imagined it would be. Cole Swindell’s new song “You Should Be Here” says it best.

“You know if I had one wish,

It’d be that you didn’t have to miss this.

You should be here.”

            You should’ve been sitting next to Mom and Morgan. I should have heard “WOOOO Bubba!!!” when my name was called. You should be in all the pictures, smiling and putting bunny ears behind Mama’s head. But you weren’t.

            This was one of many big moments that we’ve felt your absence. All the birthdays, holidays, and special events just haven’t been the same. And they never will be. We’ll always feel a void where you should be - and not just because you were such a big fella.

            Since I was eight years old, you were there for all the important things. I hate the thought that you can’t be here for them anymore. We miss you so much. Still, I’m happy knowing that you were always proud of me, and that you’d be proud of me for graduating college too.

            Love, Bubba

Lesson 13: Trust in Him

            This weekend, I will graduate from the University of North Texas with my Bachelor’s in Converged Broadcast Media. My time as a college kid is about to come to an end, and real adult life is about to begin. To say I’m somewhat terrified is an understatement.

            Still, I know I’ll be okay. You, Mama, and the rest of the crew that helped raise me taught me to put my trust in the Lord no matter what. If I do that, it’ll all be okay.

“Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders.”

            I have been blessed with countless opportunities and experiences that have changed my life for the better. By putting my faith in the Lord, I am giving God the ability to lead me down the path that He has designed for me. And that doesn’t sound quite so scary.

            I wish you were here to see where the path takes me, but I know you’ll be watching me graduate from some heaven with a Crown and Coke in your hand.

            Love, Bubba

Lesson 12: Be A Good Sister

Let’s be real Trav. It is not always easy being a good sibling. Fighting is kind of apart of the relationship, and there are bound to be times when you don’t get along or you flat out don’t like each other. This is especially difficult when you’re twelve years older than your sibling.

            You know that Mo and I don’t always see eye to eye. Having such a huge age gap makes it hard for her to understand where I’m coming from because she hasn’t been there yet, and hard for me to understand where she’s coming from because it’s been so long since I was that young. Still, I have no excuse.

“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech, but with actions and in truth.”

1 John 3:18

I’m the older sister, and it’s my responsibility to teach Morgan what’s right and to be a good role model. When we were younger, you never let me get away with anything in front of Mo specifically for that reason – because you knew it would come back to bite you in the butt if you let me get away with something and not her.

            Well, and because you always remembered that I had to be that role model for her, and you were always quick to remind me. So don’t you worry Big Dude. I’m doing my best to take care of Mo the way a big sister should, and I’m trying to be a good role model for her as well. Because let’s face it, you would never let me be any less.

Love, Bubba