One Year Later

            It's hard to believe it's been a year since we lost you and Seth. That day still seems like a bad nightmare I just haven't woken up from. There are no words to describe the horror of that day... the following week... and every holiday or special occasion since then.

            Every holiday is a funeral all over again. An empty seat at the table. A reminder that you're gone. Even the happiest of days have a gray cloud over them when we think of you not being there. Certain songs, even ones that have nothing to do with you, send us into hysterics. People talk nonchalantly, having no idea that the common phrase they just used or the casual mention of some random event just sent us spiraling into a world of torture.

            But one thing I do know - we made it this far. We can make it till we join you in heaven.

"There is one thing that God says to all of His believers, regardless of their circumstances. TRUST ME."

            That being said, this will be my last "Love, Bubba" lesson. Feeling like I'm talking to you through my posts has been beyond therapeutic this last year. But it's time that I begin the process of moving on and living life more normally. I know that's what you want, and I know I can talk to you anytime I want, without having to write to you here. I'm not done learning the lessons you've left behind. But it's time that I go out and work harder to put them into action.
            But that doesn't mean I'm done posting on "Love, Bubba". I'll only post memories of you and updates on how we're dealing. And I want everyone that was fortunate enough to have known you to start sharing their stories too. They can be funny... sentimental... or maybe something they wish they'd told you. From now on... "Love, Bubba" is for everyone.
            I hope one day that a collection of these lessons, stories, and updates makes it into a book. That's my next "Love, Bubba" goal. Sharing your story with the world, and showing them that you can turn your biggest tragedy into something that helps others.
            Thank you to everyone who took the time to read my letters the last year. Your support means the world to me. I couldn't get through this without all of y'all. And the biggest thank you to Travis for being apart of our lives. We are better having known you, and blessed to have heard you say "love you bubba".

            We miss you so much.

            Love, Bubba

Lesson 44: I'm Good Enough

            Growing up, I dealt with a lot of self-worth issues. Things weren't easy when I was a kid - we struggled a lot with a lot of different things. I don't feel the need to get into the issues themselves, since you already know them, but I will say this - they were things that make it hard to believe you're worth it.

            Still, one of the greatest lessons you ever taught me was that I'm good enough. I'm good enough because I say so. I'm good enough because my family and friends say I am. I'm good enough because I have a God who says so.

“And are five sparrows not worth two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God. Indeed, every hair on your head is numbered. Fear not, you are worth more than many sparrows.”

Luke 12:6-7

            Thank you for being apart of the journey to believing I'm good enough.

            Love, Bubba

Lesson 43: Be Kind

       Being kind tends to be a difficult thing for people to do these days. More often, we hear of people who were rude, mean, and hateful than we hear of people being kind. But you and Seth were the exception.

       When you and Mom met, I doubt that you knew that you would soon be taking on the role of stepfather to an 8-year-old girl. Yet, you did. You took me in like I was the daughter you did not yet have (Mo wasn't born for another 5 years, if you recall), and you always treated me with kindness. I grew up knowing I was loved by a stepdad who had no obligation to love me or treat me like his own.

“Kind words are like honey – sweet to the soul and healthy to the body.”

Proverbs 16:24

       We had our ups and downs. We argued like any stepfather/stepdaughter duo. I got in trouble for being a brat, and you had to ground me. I challenged your rules and gave you attitude. Still, I always knew that you loved me, and you were ALWAYS kind.

       Love, Bubba

Lesson 42: Be Humble

       Big Dude, you were good at a lot of things. A jack of all trades if you will. You could pick up any sport you tried, you were funny, you were a hard worker, you were smart, you were a good father, husband, and friend... yet you were humble.

“Always be humble and gentle, be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults, because of your love.”

Ephesians 4:2

       You never bragged about how great you were - sure, you joked about it. You were a funny man, of course you did. But you never rubbed it in people's faces that you were so awesome. You didn't fail to teach Morgan and I that either... even if we do brag about ourselves time to time.

       We're working on that.

        Love, Bubba

Lesson 41: Be Honorable

       Honor sounds like such an antiquated term. It reminds me of Mulan, and concept of bringing honor to your family through battle or heroism. But that's not all there is to honor.

       Honor is defined as multiple things - to regard with high respect or esteem, or privilege. You and Seth were honorable. You never heard people say "Oh, those Suggs boys. They sure are trouble. They're dishonorable." You were the kind of men people were proud to say they knew. That's honor.

“The wicked flee, though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.”

Proverbs 28:1

       You taught everyone around you, Morgan and myself especially, that being an honorable person is important. And we won't forget that.
Love, Bubba

Lesson 40: Be Funny

To say you were funny would be an understatement. I can’t count the number of times you had us rolling on the floor laughing because of some joke, or a silly voice, or because you were teasing mom. You were the comic relief in the house.

“In His presence, there is fullness of joy.”

Psalm 16:11

            What’s funny is, I knew that you weren’t always happy. I knew things got you down, and that life wasn’t always a ray of sunshine. But you were the kind of person that didn’t show it. You stayed positive and hilarious as ever.

            You taught me that even when things get me down, I have to laugh at the situation and laugh at myself. Laughter makes things just a little bit better.

            Love, Bubba