Lesson 38: Be Loyal

As much as I hate to say it, I’ve seen some unloyal people in my life. Cheaters, liars, backstabbers… you name it. I’ve seen it. But you were never one of those people.

            Even when you and Mom weren’t seeing eye-to-eye, there was never a moment where she was afraid of you being unfaithful. And I wasn’t either. I knew how much you loved her, and I knew you’d never do that to her. You were a loyal husband.

            You were also a loyal father. You didn’t miss a single volleyball, softball, basketball, or football game if you could help it. You went to all of my track meets. You went to the awards ceremonies. You took Morgan to every Daddy/Daughter Dance. We knew that if you could be there, you would. You were a loyal father.

“God is sheer beauty, all generous in love, loyal always and ever.”

Psalm 100:5

            You taught me that even though loyalty is hard to find these days, it exists. And part of having loyal people in your life, is being a loyal person.

            Miss you

Love, Bubba

Lesson 37: Be Strong

After the accident, some of your friends made some pretty sweet t-shirts. They said, “It’s All Good”, with a word describing you and Seth on the back. Strong. Unswayed. Kind... My next few posts will be based on those words – all the words I know you want us to be.

            The first – strong. To say that you were strong is an understatement. You were Suggs Strong. And in every way. You were super athletic. You were the first person I’d ask to play sports with me when I was bored. We’d pepper the volleyball in the front yard daily. When I started cheering on the junior high team, you and I had a toetouch contest. I’m sad to say you won.

            But you weren’t just physically strong. You taught me to be strong mentally and in my faith. You and Mom took everything that life threw at you and threw it right back. Nothing could slow you down.

“But the Lord is with me like a mighty warrior.”

Jeremiah 20:11

            So as things get tougher and tougher, as we struggle to keep it together without you here, I remind myself to stay Suggs Strong. Just like you.

            Love, Bubba

Lesson 36: Don't Expect Too Much

Some of you advice tended to be two-sided, in a good way. Even though you’d often tell me to let people be there for me, you never failed to remind me that not everyone will be able to. Sometimes, those people that you love most just can’t handle your issues, and that’s okay.

            We haven’t all experienced the same things. I have personally been through a lot of things that my friends haven’t. So I can’t expect them to know how to deal with those problems. I don’t have a ton of friends who’ve lost someone so close to them. How can I expect them to understand that kind of pain and loss?

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Proverbs 4:23

            Not to say that those friends can’t be there. It’s just a little more difficult for them sometimes. The nice thing is, everyone has different strengths. I have a variety of types of friends, and each of them has something to offer in terms of friendship. So I have to appreciate them for their strengths instead of dogging them on their weaknesses, while still remembering to keep appropriate expectations.

            Or else I’m going to be needing you to remind me to “chill out, Bubba!”

            Love, Bubba

Lesson 35: Let Them Be There For You

As you knew, my aforementioned walls have made it tough for me to not only trust people, but also allow them to be there for me. I often think that if I tell people my struggles, I’ll burden them. But you always reminded me that wasn’t the case.

            Anytime that my pessimism got the best of me, you would tell me that I should let people be there for me. My friends wanted to be there for me just like I wanted to be there for them, no matter how hard that is for me to believe. I’m afraid of people deciding my problems are too much for them. Yet, somehow you’d always be positive.

“Perfect love casts out all fear.”

1 John 4:18

            So as hard as it is, I’m trying to let my friends be there for me right now. Because I need them now more than ever.

            Love, Bubba

Lesson 34: You Deserve Better

     Too often we settle for less. We decide that we can’t change our situation because it’s just where we need to be at that moment. We let others treat us poorly because we can’t bear the thought of losing them, when in reality, that’s all wrong.

“Place your heart in the hands of God, and He will place it in the hands of a man who he believes deserves it.”

             You always told me that I deserve better, that I deserve to be in a place, job, and relationship that make me happy. Sometimes it’s hard to see that the situation we’re currently in could be better. We just accept less than we deserve because we can’t go through the change. But sometimes taking that leap and asking for what God has intended for you is just what you need.

            Thank you for always telling me to take that risk... because I finally found better :)

            Love, Bubba