Lesson 11: Be Proud of Where You're From

            Courtesy of you and Mama, we moved a lot. I’ve lived in Plano, San Antonio, Sinton, Portland, The Woodlands, Denton, Prosper… and a few of those cities multiple times. I’ve learned to love moving. I love going somewhere new, cleaning out my belongings, redecorating, meeting new people – it’s exciting. I’m proud to say that I have lived in so many different places, but I’m even more proud to say where I’m from. Especially after the benefit on Sunday.

            There aren't many places that can brag about a community like we have here in Portland. The Wildcat family is just that - a family. No matter how long you've been here or how many people you know, they take care of you. And man did they take care of us by putting on that benefit.

            Our family is beyond thankful for what everyone did. The benefit was beautiful, fun, and the perfect tribute to you and Seth. They definitely showed everyone what it's like to be a true Wildcat.

            I'm proud to be a Wildcat, even if I only went to GP for a semester. San Pat County is special to me. It’s where we're truly from. It’s where you and mom made a home. 

“He led me to a place of safety – he rescued me because he delights in me.”

Psalms 18:19

No matter where I live, I’ll make the most out of it. But I’m glad we ended up in Portland.

            Love, Bubba

Lesson 10: Everything Happens For A Reason

            I love to have a plan. If I can make things go according to my schedule, I'm a happy girl. It makes life predictable and makes it easier to roll with the punches. But we all know that's not how life works. Everything happens for a reason, and in it's own time, whether you like it or not.

            I can see you mocking this cliche in some goofy voice right now for being sappy, but you’re the one that said it. As much as I try to plan my life, it’s going to work out the way it’s supposed to. Whether I like it or not. Because that’s GOD’s plan – not mine.

“Lord, if it’s not your will, let it slip through my grasp, and give me the peace to not worry about it.”

Tony A. Gaskins Jr.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked back and said “Wow. I never would have imagined myself here a year ago.” Things change. People change. Plans change. And that’s okay. Because until the accident, there hasn’t been a single thing that I would change. From mom and dad’s divorce, to all the moves, to the breakups, I know you’re right – It all happens for a reason. I just have to look for the reason in everything, and remember that it’s all in God’s plan.

            I just wish I could understand why you’re not here.

            Love, Bubba

Lesson 9: [It's] Not Worth It

            Trav, you were there for a lot. The sporting events, the breakups, the breakdowns, the first days of school… and everything in between. And you had a lot of advice along the way. But one of the most important things you ever told me was: [It’s] Not Worth It.

            Except that’s not EXACTLY what you said. You see, it was substituted for a pronoun – and for the sake of that person, I won’t say who. But that single piece of advice proved to be one of the most life changing things you ever told me.

            That was one of the hardest days of my life. Everything that I had planned was turned upside down – and I was devastated. All I wanted was everything to go back to normal, and I was throwing a 6-year-old-like temper tantrum. And then you turned and said those oh so important words: [It’s] Not Worth It.

            And at first, all I could think was how wrong you were. Of course [it] was worth it! It was my life plan! But eventually, I realized how right you were. Because I ended up being so much happier a few months down the road than I could have imagined. And I realized that everything happens for a reason.

“In all thy ways, acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path.”

Proverbs 3:6

            But that’s another one of your lessons for another day.

            Love, Bubba

Lesson 8: Some Days Just Suck

Up until now I’ve kept the blog pretty positive. Trying to find the good in the horrible situation we’re in has been what gets me out of bed in the morning. But I can’t go any longer without admitting it – some days just suck.

            We all have these days, and lately they've been happening a lot. We all thought that it would get easier the more time passed, but it comes in waves. One day, we're okay. And the next we spend the entire day in bed.

            Some days, it’s too hard to focus on the good things. Our hearts hurt and we cry. We get angry at life and God. We ask why a lot. Because it truly makes no sense to have lost two men as amazing as you and Seth. It feels like we won’t be able to go on, and that life will never get better.

“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”

Psalm 30:5

            Still, we have to believe that it will get better. We have to believe that there will be happier days. We have to be thankful for each day we make it through. But some days, we just miss you too much.

Love, Bubba